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Wings of an Angel

 

Chapter One

Angel’s Sorrow

 

Sunlight glinted through the windows as if the panes of glass were shot through with diamonds. Specks of dust floated in the beams of light shining into the room. The patio doors were opened to allow anyone in the library to sit and enjoy the chirping of the birds as they fought over the seeds in the feeder. Every now and then one could hear the splash of wings as a tiny bird bathed in the birdbath. All pleasant diversions on a lazy summer day to be sure. 

 

The library had little sound other than an occasional turn of a page accompanied by a contented sigh and ticking of the mantle clock. Peace and quiet seemed to be the order of the moment.

 

This quiet wouldn’t last. It never did on those days when the papers carried news of the happy French aristocratic couple. For now all seemed to be gloriously quiet. The young woman could calculate almost to the second when the peace would end. Had not she gone through many similar days in the past six months?

 

A satisfied and contented sigh left the young woman’s lips as she reached the end of her chapter. Her romantic interlude with the hero of her novel would have to continue tomorrow, or if she were lucky tonight when she crawled into her warm lonely bed.

 

Glancing at the clock she sighed heavily preparing herself mentally for what was to come. It wouldn’t be much longer now. She thought it best to prepare for the destruction to come in the next few minutes. Lord knows she had plenty of practice cleaning up after and calming the beast after those moments of pure rage. At times he did seem to expend his rage more quickly these days.

 

As soon as he read the headlines she expected to hear glass breaking, furniture flying and the air to turn blue with curses. He would roar in anger until he had no more anger to spew forth. The anger would give way to the anguish and tears. He would mourn his loss for days. Why he would do this to himself remained a mystery. Surely by now he could see there was no future in holding onto something that truly never was a reality?

 

One month of somewhat peaceful days and now this. He would have moments of shouting and bad temper when some small article would carry the names of the couple who had broken him leaving him a shell of a man. With the lessoning of the tirades it did seem as if he would soon mend.

 

She had thought to keep the paper from him but he would only badger her for it or send one of the staff to fetch a new one. If she kept it from him he would know it contained something she wished to hide from him.

 

She could not believe that in six months he had not seemed to let go of Christine one tiny bit. If he was not composing frantically at all hours creating romantically sad and heartrending music he paced about holding her picture murmuring to himself. He drew her image over and over. He barely slept or ate. If not for her nagging and cajoling him Meg thought he would simply waste away.

 

Meg knew this could not go on much longer. He had been ill when she had found him in the tunnel the night of Don Juan Triumphant. Not an illness of the body even though he had been feverish, but one more of the mind and soul. He had recovered from his physical illness, now he needed to mend his mental and emotional illness. She tried but he resisted all her efforts to come closer to him, to know him better. Erik would not concede that he needed a human contact other than his memory of Christine. He needed someone who would be there for him when he needed a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. If he would open his eyes he would see that Meg could give him everything he had ever wanted. For now he was not ready to accept what she would willingly give.

 

He had begged her to let him die during those first few days of recuperating. He had cursed her when she forced him to his feet the night of the last performance at L’Opéra Populaire. To get him on his feet she had asked him if he would want to repay her mother’s years of loyal service with the death of her daughter. If they did not move the gendarmes, local police and people who had worked in the opera house would find them and shoot and ask questions later when they caught up with them.

 

Tired to death of referring to him as The Phantom or Opera Ghost, Meg had asked him if he had a name. For many moments he had looked at her blankly as if he had to think of an answer, which later she found out he had indeed needed to think to recall what his name had been. He had not been called by his name since he was about five and given to the Gypsies or sold, he could not remember clearly.

 

He had told her his name was Erik. She had not asked for a surname at that time. When they had decided to leave France she had asked and he had told her he did not know. He only vaguely remembered being called Erik. Was it not fortunate he knew himself to be other than The Devil’s Child or his most recent titles? His laugh at his own joke held more the sound of dry sobs than laughter.

 

Meg’s mother, Antoinette Giry had dared to offer Erik her own family name, Trudeau. So Erik Trudeau had been born.

 

Knowing Erik must have funds hidden someplace Antoinette had badgered him until he had relented and told her where she might find his wealth. The sum he had extorted from the different managers over the years had accumulated into a tidy sum. More than a man could spend sensibly in his lifetime.

 

Knowing that Erik could not travel alone nor be trusted by himself not to bring some harm to himself or worse track down Raoul and Christine, it had been decided that Antoinette and Meg would accompany Erik on his journey to England.

 

Erik, Antoinette and Meg had stayed in the small nondescript apartment in London while Antoinette had gone round to the estate agents in search of the perfect home for a man who needed seclusion but needed to be near the arts if the mood struck him to partake of such things.

 

After a month and a half of looking the perfect estate had come on the market. The fifteen room home was surrounded by a hundred acres of lush green grass. Horses and cows had come with the property as well as a number of people who lived and worked on the estate.

 

Meg had fallen in love with the three story house as soon as she laid eyes on it. Erik had grumbled about the need for a great deal of staff to run such a place. He had negative offerings to throw out no matter what the circumstances. Meg began to think it was his negativity that had kept him separated from humanity rather than the misfortune of his disfigured face.

 

They settled in quite nicely as far as Erik was concerned. He had thought Meg and her mother had given up on the idea of staff. He had been wrong. A parade of people had come and gone through his home. The women insisted he be present during the interviews so they could get an honest reaction to Erik, not only his face, but his less than cordial disposition. Erik on his best days could be quite formidable. Meg preferred not to think of his worst days.

 

Meg met his rages with calm even when at times he frightened her. She did not think he would ever harm her, not intentionally at any rate. Sometimes his rages took complete control of him. He lost all sense of himself and became something quite evil. With Meg’s calming influence those worst days were becoming fewer and fewer while being of shorter duration.

 

Erik had never been taught how to show displeasure without letting his emotions get out of hand. He had the same problem showing affection as he did keeping his rage and anger under control. For Erik it had always been all or nothing.

 

This attitude had been what most likely caused his failure to sway Christine to his side. If Erik showed a little less aggression and more kindness and care he might have been able to win Christine.

 

Meg did not doubt that Christine felt something deep for Erik. Everyone had seen it plainly displayed upon the stage during the last performance. The powerful seductive spell Erik had woven had almost had Christine throwing caution to the wind and forgoing her part in the plan to capture or kill Erik.

 

Christine had told Meg later that if Erik had not used Raoul’s exact words to try to sway her to him, she might have given in. By the time they had reached the top of the stairs Christine had been so inflamed by desire for her Angel of Music all else had faded into the background. When Erik had caressed her all else seemed not to matter. Then he had used Raoul’s words waking Christine from her entrancement.  

 

In all his life no one had loved Erik or shown him how to express those feelings. Meg thought that was why he had failed with Christine. He had frightened her so badly any tenderness she might have felt for him was not allowed to blossom under Erik’s tyranny and anger.

 

He could bring Christine almost to the point of surrender then ruin it all with an outburst of anger.

 

Meg did not doubt at all that her dear sister loved Erik deeply even as she feared him. Christine never failed to ask after Erik on Meg’s monthly visits to Paris.

 

Antoinette had returned to France expecting Meg to come home soon after. Meg had delayed her return home month after month until she had at last admitted to her mother that she could not bear to leave Erik alone. She had come to care deeply for him. She couldn’t say it was definitely love as Erik would not let her explore that avenue in their relationship or even if they could have a relationship as he refused to let the past go.

 

Meg became so frustrated at times she felt as if she could shake Erik until his teeth rattled. The man had no compass to go by when his emotions ran rampant. Erik’s lifestyle during his time in the opera house did not give him any coping skills. He saw something he wanted and he took it irregardless of the consequences.

 

Erik had so little in his life that he did not deny himself anything once he held sway over the opera house. His arrogance had led to his downfall. Meg could feel pity for the man even as she detested his actions.

 

Meg felt shame at times when she thought how glad she was that Christine had fallen in love with Raoul instead of Erik, at least not in the way he had wanted Christine to love him. Erik had been far too demanding for Christine. Meg loved her adopted sister dearly but did not have blinders on regarding Christine’s shortcomings. Christine needed someone who would cherish her while making her feel protected and coddled. Raoul did that quite nicely whereas Erik had demanded things Christine had not been willing or able to give to him.

 

Christine needed safety and security. Erik could not be considered either of those things at the moment, perhaps not ever. Erik had a lot of progressing to do before he could even know how to love a woman properly.

 

Meg’s introspections were interrupted by the loud roar she had been expecting followed by the crashing of glass and splintering wood. Erik kept the local craftsman busy for certain. The man had even gone so far as to begin leaving his tools in the garden shed.

 

Sighing tiredly Meg got to her feet. She went into the hall to see the staff scurrying about like rats on a sinking ship. Meg wished at times she could scuttle away and hide from Erik’s temper.

 

She went to find Deacon, the stable boy. He was the one Meg always sent for the man who repaired things once Erik had finished one of his destructive rages. No doubt this time would be no different than the others. Erik would leave whatever room he was in looking as if some violent act of nature had occurred.

 

Meg mounted the stairs wondering when this would end. Her patience was teetering on the brink ready to fall off the cliff of tolerance.

 

A particularly loud had her grabbing her skirt so she could take the stairs at a faster pace. Heaven help anyone who had been in the room with Erik.

 

Chapter Two

Raging Angel

 

Erik read the printed words before him then read them once more as if the meaning would change with the second reading.

 

He tore the paper into pieces throwing them toward the fireplace. The weather being quite mild there had been no fire lain this day.

 

Cursing the futility of having a fireplace with no fire Erik proceeded to set the papers on fire with a match from the mantle.

 

The crackling of the burning paper did little to dispel the raging fire beginning to burn within him nearly rivaling the fire now crackling in the fireplace.

 

The arrival of today’s paper had crushed Erik’s last hope of ever gaining Christine’s love. She would never be by his side as his wife. The way things stood now he could never see her again.

 

Married. She had married her little Vicomte. Erik picked up the nearest object which happened to be a little figurine. Drawing back his hand Erik tossed it against the wall with a satisfying splintering of glass.

 

Once the carnage had begun it continued until either Meg came and stopped him or Erik tired himself out from all the hurling of furniture around the room.

 

Erik fumed as not long into his fit he ran out of things to break. Damn Meg. She had begun to furnish his study very sparsely after a few incidents such as today’s bout of rage. She had told him it would be useless and wasteful to place expensive things in the room only for him to break them when things overwhelmed him. He had cursed at her that it had been his money that had brought her here and it would be his money that sent her home.

 

Erik never really considered sending Meg away. He only said it as he had little with which to curb her tendency to try to rein him in.

 

About five minutes into his fit of “house cleaning” Erik heard the unmistakable sound of heels clicking along the hallway floor.

 

The tread indicated the wearer of those shoes felt a little angered or perturbed. Erik looked around at the destruction he had caused. He could not remove all evidence but he could hide some of it. Perhaps Meg would lesson her tirade and lecture to mere minutes rather than the usual hour speaking to him as if he were a damn child.

 

As quickly as he could Erik used his boot to scoot the debris on the floor underneath the furniture that remained unbroken. He could do nothing about the window nor the lamps and small chairs that had suffered during his angry release of frustration and pain.

 

Meg entered the room without so much as a knock. Irritated at her audacity Erik had opened his mouth to roar at her. When she meekly folded her hands together waiting for him to begin her dressing down Erik felt that whatever he said to her would be as water off a duck’s back.

 

It confounded him that Meg could not be ruffled by him. No matter what hurtful things he said to her she listened through his diatribe without so much as a wince.

 

Erik had taken to being very cruel toward Meg trying to illicit some response other than this calm façade she presented.

 

“So have you destroyed enough for today or should I have the servants bring some more for you to toss about?” Meg surveyed the damage. It was no more than she had expected.

 

“Do not use that tone with me. I am not a child. All of this is mine. If I wish to light a torch and burn it I will.” Erik stood belligerently daring Meg to contradict him.

 

“So you would burn everything?” Meg calmly took a match from the silver box on the mantle. She picked up several drawings of Christine and set the match to them.

 

Erik roared striding furiously across the short expanse between them. Taking the papers from Meg’s unresisting hand Erik shoved Meg backwards hard enough to push her into a table Erik had not managed to knock over and damage.

 

Meg hit her head on the corner dazing her senses for a moment or two. Surprise then hurt feelings flooded Meg causing her more pain than any injury. She felt the small trickle of blood coming from her forehead. With shaky fingertips Meg wiped at her injury. Drawing back her hand she saw the red wetness upon her fingers. Erik had drawn blood from her. He had used his strength fully without checking his brute force as he had pushed her.

 

Never would she have believed Erik would become incensed enough to do her an injury. Even now his full attention focused on the mere likeness of Christine rather than the very real woman in the room with him. A woman for all he knew he may well have killed.

 

Some small hope that she might one day drag Erik into the reality of his life died in that moment. Meg felt a crushing blow to her pride. She had risked everything, given up her life of normalcy for him. He cared nothing for her, the real woman who would have given him freely all he asked. He had all but forgotten her presence. Mere pictures of Christine meant more to him than whether or not he had done her some harm.

 

She alone held his hand, caressed his back, murmured soft words of comfort when his despair over losing Christine drove him into depression. Her loving gestures elicited only his anger and harsh judgment. Enough was enough. Meg felt it time to accept things as they were. Nothing she could say or do would ever be enough to have Erik abandon his dream of Christine. Erik had mired himself in his dream of having Christine at all costs. Giving her up that night had for him only been a meaningless gesture. At the time he may have meant to honor the gift of freedom he had given to Christine and Raoul but later his love for her would not let him release her from his heart and mind. He could never let Christine go.

 

Erik heard the rustle of Meg’s skirts. When he looked at her, he could see her struggling to come to her feet. Spying the red stain on her forehead nearly made him sick. When he would have helped her Meg whispered for him not to touch her. Even now her voice remained calm and even. Never had she raised her voice in anger to him. Erik could not say the same for his actions toward Meg.

 

Looking down at the papers in his hand he felt shame wash over him for what he had done. Was this what he thought worth harming Meg, a few bits of paper with charcoal lines forming a pleasing countenance? Could the woman in the drawing praise him for his talents as Meg had done over and over? Could she sit with him in the evenings conversing about all manner of topics? Did she cry with him or sooth him when his despair seemed all he would ever have?

 

Even when Christine had been real she had never treated him as a man the way Meg had done since she first encountered him in the tunnel.

 

She had done nothing really to earn such harsh treatment from him. Perhaps this would be the time she left as he had always thought he wanted. As he thought of her leaving now panic began to rise in him. What would he do without her? What would he do on the nights his nightmares had him screaming so loudly he woke the household but only Meg came to sooth and comfort him until he fell asleep once more?

 

Glancing at Meg Erik saw the sadness in her face as well as something that might be conviction.

 

“I suppose it will please you to know I will be leaving in the morning. I will be going home to France. I’ll not have you suffer my presence since I disturb you so much.”

 

“Leave? But…but you only came back last week. Surely there can be nothing you need that cannot be found in London.” Erik scrambled around in his brain trying to find a way to make her stay. Perhaps if he apologized that would have some influence on her decision. The apology died on his lips as did any further request for her to stay.

 

He could find no reason for her to stay or for that matter to return once she had escaped his evil temper. Erik had never given Meg any reason to do any of the kind things she did for him with only his temper as her reward.

 

The tightness in his chest nearly drove him to his knees as he considered that she may never return. Never to see or speak to her bothered him, more than he had imagined. Had he not treated her poorly with this goal in mind?

 

Erik snuck a look at the top of Meg’s golden crown of hair. If ever anyone looked angelic it would be Meg. It astounded him that she had remained so innocent living among the loose moraled people who populated the opera house. The patrons were not much better, always trying to encourage the chorus girls and ballerinas to lift their skirts.

 

Christine retained that same innocence. Antoinette had done a fine job of bringing them up by herself. Of course he had been in the background to keep an eye on them. Thinking back Erik felt a prick to his conscience as he had not kept as strict an eye on Meg as he had Christine.

 

As Meg reached the door Erik wanted to call out to her but his throat felt as if a vice had been placed on his vocal cords. His pride would not let him beg for her company. If she wished to leave he would do nothing to stop her.

 

Erik turned away just before he heard the click of the door. His shoulders slumped as he dropped down onto the chair Meg had just left. He could still smell her essence, feel the warmth of her body. Erik turned his head to inhale the remainder of Meg that lingered for a short time after her departure.

 

Bracing his elbows on his knees Erik rested his head in his hands. Soon he would once again be alone. He had gotten used to Meg always being their other than her short forays back to Paris. Loneliness like a living thing began to engulf Erik bringing forth sobs such as he had not shed since Christine had left him with her lover.

 

Erik was not certain he could survive such complete loneliness again. It had been his hurt and stubbornness that had made him act so viciously toward Meg. His anger always rose quickly causing him to strike out before he could think clearly about showing his displeasure in a different, less violent manner.

 

He may have lost his one and only friend. He still had the drawings of Christine but they seemed to be cold comfort in comparison to Meg’s lively chatter and soothing presence.  

 

Meg leaned tiredly against the door listening to Erik’s heartbreaking sobs. If she thought he would have welcomed her comfort Meg would have given in against her better judgment. Perhaps it was as well she did not go to him. A few weeks without her, perhaps a month and maybe he would come to miss her. Always before, she had only ever gone for a week or two. Now Meg felt it would be apropos to leave Erik to his own devices for a time.

 

Shoving away from the door Meg quickly strode determinedly toward the staircase before she gave into her weakness for Erik’s suffering. He deserved a little suffering for taking his anger out on her. In his defense it had been cruel to try to burn the images of Christine he cherished. Meg could only hope some day a man would cherish her in such a way. She dare not let herself be deluded that it would be Erik. Today had well and truly opened her eyes to the truth. Erik now and forever would hold Christine sacred in his heart.

 

Meg felt a need for her mother’s loving arms holding her as she cried out all her heartbreak. Maman would know what to do. She always had.

 

Once Meg made it to her room she packed her things she would need for her trip. Sitting down she wrote out instructions as to how the house needed to be run in her absence.

 

Luckily Erik’s estate was located at an intersection of railways from one end of England to another. The trains stopped several times a day to collect coal, water and food. It also took on and let off passengers. Tomorrow Meg would once again be one of those passengers leaving.

 

Knowing she would not sleep Meg permitted her foolish mind to think of things that would never happen. Christine had told her of those kisses she had shared with her. Christine had said that even in his stunned misery Erik had a seductive power that had nearly delivered her at his feet in supplication. It had been Erik who sent Christine away.

 

Christine said she had gotten over Erik for the most part but sometimes Meg did not quite believe her. If it were she who had kissed Erik Meg knew the memory of it would be etched on her mind for eternity. The feel of his lips would be in every dream. As it was he occupied far too many of her restless dreams.

 

Sighing Meg began to drift into one of her nightly romps with Erik. The first time she had such a dream she had not been able to look Erik in the eye for nearly a week. As she became accustomed to her nightly romance Meg felt less shame and more anticipatory for nightfall. She would begin a scenario in her head prior to going to bed then let her dreams finish what her conscious mind had begun.

 

Erik had his own dreams to contend with that night. A confusing miss mash they were. Christine and Meg kept superimposing one another until he awoke both flustered and confused. Meg would be leaving today. Erik felt in no hurry to greet the day.

 

Meg woke feeling sluggish from lack of a restful night. She had tossed about dreaming of Erik both good and bad dreams. Having bathed and dressed Meg could find nothing to keep her any longer. Foolishly she had let her dreams persuade her Erik would come to beg her forgiveness as well as asking her to stay. That had been a pipe dream, a romantic fairytale. 

 

She rang for the houseboy Samuel to come carry her things down once the coach had been readied to take her to the railway station. 

 

As was wont to happen when one dreaded an event time seemed to fly by all too quickly. Looking at the clock Erik surmised Meg would be downstairs waiting for the carriage. She would have breakfasted long ago.

 

If Meg thought him churlish for not going down to send her off with a hearty fare-the-well, hell would have snow before Erik admitted to himself or anyone he did not want Meg to go.

 

Erik knew he should apologize but pride would not allow him to do any such thing. If he cut his nose off to spite his face so be it. Erik almost laughed at the irony of his thoughts. His nose being a part of deformity had one nostril that flared far wider than it should.

 

Hearing a horse whinnying Erik sighed heavily. Perhaps he would look out the window. The morning sunshine always made the view from his bedroom window quite pleasing. If he had only once taken advantage of that fact now he would do so again and not because he would be able to see Meg depart.

 

Using the back of his hand Erik pushed the drape aside a tiny sliver. Looking down into the courtyard he could see the top of Meg’s beautiful blond head. Had anything ever been created that could compete with such natural wonder?

 

Erik frowned to have such romantic thoughts traveling through his head. Christine’s long curly brown locks were far more beautiful, were they not? Erik refused to answer that question in fear of his answer.

 

As Erik got his last sight of Meg before she disappeared he felt that familiar constriction in his chest that came upon him every time Meg left him.

 

No matter how many times Erik told himself that it was idiocy to feel anything other than relief to be rid of Meg, he always felt this crippling sense of loss.

 

He tried to tell himself it was only Meg’s companionship he missed and not her personally. At times Erik could delude himself very effectively. Look how he had deluded himself over Christine.

 

As the carriage began to pull away Erik could not let her go with this rift between them. Grabbing his robe Erik hurried out of his bedroom to dash down the stairs as he donned his robe. Racing across the foyer he threw open the door only in time to see the carriage going through the gates. He had been too late.

 

Erik slammed his fist against the doorframe. Damnation, could nothing ever turn out the way he wanted it to? Would he be forever cursed to have all his hopes and dreams dashed to the ground in shards like glass?

 

Sighing in disgust at his own stupidity Erik retraced his steps with lackluster now in every step. For now all he could do now was wait for her to return, if indeed she intended to return.

 

Suddenly Erik had to know. He ran up the last few stairs then down the hall to Meg’s room. Once there he hesitated to open the door in fear of what he might find.

 

If all her personal effects were gone she would not be coming back. If everything lay on dressers and pictures hung on the wall she would be returning.

 

Tentatively Erik opened the door. Once he could view the whole of the room he nearly collapsed in relief. Her things were all right where they should be. Only her comb, brush and mirror set were missing from the top of the vanity. Pictures in small frames cluttered every available flat surface as well as the walls. Her jewelry box still sat atop the dresser.

 

Erik backed out of the room feeling somewhat calmer. He could tolerate her absence now that he knew Meg would be coming back. No woman would leave such precious mementoes behind. 

 

The days now seemed to drag for Erik. Time before seemed to fly. Now when he wished it would the darn clock seemed to have come to a near stop on the occasion when he would take a casual glance at it. Erik would deny he looked at the clock three or four times per hour.

 

It did not help Erik’s disposition to read in the paper of Meg being seen at the opera with a cousin of Raoul’s. Damn the de Chagny men. Must they have every presentable female in Paris under their thumb? He looked far too much like Raoul for Erik’s peace of mind.

 

Erik could not help but compare his hideous face to that handsome young noble’s pleasing features. Meg never showed disgust when looking into his face. In fact she always seemed to look directly into his eyes which annoyed him no end when he wished to keep something from her. That woman could read him like an open book. It had proven to be a drawback when he tried to intimidate or outwit her. At times he thought for sure Meg could read his mind.

 

Not having anything in particular to do now that his one source of amusement had left, Erik wandered about the house aimlessly. If he found himself more than a few times back in the sunny library he felt certain it was only because his books were located in that room. Never mind that he did not look at the books but rather at the seat where Meg always sat reading or just closing her eyes for a little catnap.

 

Meg did love the sun. She particularly enjoyed it as she sat reading. Erik perused the room his mind calculating and planning.

 

It shouldn’t take much to add a solarium just off the end of the library where the wall had been made of glass doors. If one were to make one corner of the room in brick a fireplace could be installed to warm the room in winter. Greenery would stay green all year and flowers would bloom all year round. Exotic plants could even been coaxed into growing in a place not of their origin.

 

The rest of the room could be glass. Plants in a variety of colors and genus around the room would add a pleasant atmosphere. One could enjoy the sun from every angle.

 

The present birdbath could be moved just to the side and perhaps enlarged thereby inviting more birds to partake of what it offered. Nectar could be hung out to invite those tiny humming birds Meg found so intriguing. Not that any of his plans had anything to do with what Meg liked or did not like. If he changed anything it would be for his pleasure alone.

 

Once the idea set in his mind Erik went to work ordering the appropriate wood, glass and stone. He even placed a rather large order for wicker furniture from the little factory in town. Being a town right in the middle of a railroad crossing drew businesses hawking their wares to tourists and the general populace alike. Everything one could think of could either be found in town or soon ordered and delivered to the rail station.

 

The area had grown by leaps and bounds from the time the first train had come through. Erik could be grateful for such easy means to procure goods and services.

 

Erik contacted his handyman. Since the man had taken over his garden shed Erik considered him a fulltime employee. Terrance Souder had been happy to see Erik when he came to town to arrange for work to begin on his new project.

 

Erik had been instructed that all his friends called him Terry and so Erik must also as they would be working cheek by jowl for the next month or so. Terry even suggested that it might be more convenient for him to stay in the gardeners cottage so as they could get early starts every morning.

 

Staring at the man in vexation, Erik wondered how it had come about that he had a tenant living on is property who had not mentioned paying for said accommodations.

 

Erik had been further astounded when Terry took control of much of the business end of things without a word from Erik. Erik had been worrying over how he could approach the man with that part of things. Not wanting to be in contact with all and sundry Erik felt annoyed as well as relived not to have to visit all the building suppliers in the area.

 

So began a friendship such as Erik had never had before. As much as he knew about design and building Terry had forgotten and learned twice as much. The man had a solution for every problem that arose.

 

The fact that he treated Erik with respect and did not seem to notice his mask overly much, Erik found himself liking Terry more and more.

 

Meg would come home to find quite a change in the house as well as Erik. Meg would not be the only one in for a surprise. Meg brought visitors back with her.

 

Erik would be in for quite a shock.  

 

Chapter Three

Tension of Meg’s Return

 

Erik had received a letter from Meg informing him she had arrived in Pennington. She would be staying the night there and would be home early on the fifth.

 

The letter arrived on the fourth so Erik assumed Meg to be already checked in at the inn. Why not come home since she had come so far? Only an hour more and she could sleep in her own bed.

 

He did not want to waste time speculating about Meg’s reasons. He felt the leap of his heart and the lifting of the dark cloud that had hung over the whole house since Meg had left.

 

Never having felt like this before Erik could not put a name to all the feelings coursing through him. He knew he felt happiness. That emotion he had always readily recognized upon Meg’s return from one of her long absences. This new intensity of what felt like some strange longing would not leave him in peace. A similar emotion had plagued him when he had been in the throes of his insanity over Christine.

 

Everyone in the household knew the routine. Master Erik would stomp around ordering this or that be made ready for Miss Meg’s return. They all saw the look in the Masters eyes. All knew how he felt while also knowing he would rather eat a pail of worms than admit such a thing.

 

He seemed to want to push her away just as much as he wished to keep her close. The shouting matches they had heard would curl the hair of the lesser beings. Master Erik did all the shouting while Miss Meg stood by ready to pour him a scotch or wine whichever his palate would be in the mood for once his temper had cooled.

 

Everyone figured Miss Meg had earned every medal ever worn by any soldier as she had faced Master Erik’s vile temper many times with little regard for her safety.

 

No one thought Master Erik would hurt Miss Meg intentionally but when the shouting started one of the burlier field hands stood just outside the door just in case. Men and women had been known to snap killing a loved one before saner thinking could prevail.

 

That last day Victor had been about to enter and make short work of Master Erik when Miss Meg had come out looking thoroughly broken in spirit with only a small cut on her forehead.

 

Victor had approached her but she had waved him away. He had done as she asked casting a scowl at the door to Master Erik’s private music room.

 

Meg had whispered as she passed Victor for him to leave the Master to his temper. He would recover as he always did.

 

After she had left, Master Erik had taken to roaming about the house like a lost soul. He had moped for days. Everyone felt relief when he came up with his new plan.

 

Victor being friendly with Terry had asked him to take the young Master under his wing. The man needed some masculine guidance. Someone who could bend Erik a little without breaking him. Since Terry had proven to be helpful with the wayward youth in the area perhaps he could teach their employer how to better cope with his frustrations.

 

They all had learned pretty early on who their employer really was. Word of his exploits had been carried across the channel shortly after the disaster.

 

When this masked man and a young woman showed up the surrounding community had been astir trying to find out all they could about him.

 

It had been come and go whether or not everyone stayed once learning of Master Erik’s misdeeds. As a group they had sat and discussed things coming to the conclusion they would give the man to prove himself to be a poor misunderstood man or simply a man with a murderous nature.

 

Time had proven the Master had moments when his anger raged somewhat out of control. If not for everyone being privy to Miss Meg’s blossoming love for him they might have left him to his own devices.

 

It had been plain as the noses on their faces that Miss Meg had come with a certain awe and admiration for the man. The feelings had grown stronger and morphed in fledgling love.

 

Miss Meg having won the hearts of all the servants they would move heaven and earth to assist those two with their romance.

 

If love had not bound those two why would Miss Meg time and time again return for more of Master Erik’s temper and foul moods? The dear girl had a mother who would willingly let her come home, no questions asked.

 

As of yet no one had wagged any tongues for the impropriety of a young unmarried woman living with a virile man. Perhaps the locals thought Miss Meg to be some sort of relative. If they were in the company of those two for more than five minutes that cloak would drop revealing lovers longingly stealing glances when the other was not aware.

 

They figured that the Paris business with that soprano to be over. A bird in the hand being worth two in the bush and all that. Was Miss Meg not on the spot? For all Master Erik pitched a fit at every article concerning his first lady love and her husband it had become clear he did it more now out of habit than any real feeling of loss.

 

Half the men in the county had been sniffing around Miss Meg’s skirts from the moment she had been introduced to the local society.

 

Once she had begun to accept more and more invitations Master Erik had tried to use his cleverness to force her to stay at home with him. Of course being a young woman she would have none of that. In the end he had to go with Miss Meg or pace the floors until she had returned.

 

A few nights roaming around cursing every other man on the planet for sins as yet unknown to the servants, Master Erik had claimed to have an interest in the local history and would therefore be accompanying Miss Meg to whichever function she was to attend in future.

Erik paced about the foyer with his hands behind his back. He would stop in mid stride to pull his pocket watch from his vest pocket every few minutes. Meg would be here shortly.

 

Stopping his pacing Erik reconsidered standing in the foyer waiting for Meg like some lovesick puppy. He would wait for her in the library. This would give her a view of the new glassed in area without him having to mention it himself. He could pretend only a casual interest although he felt his insides jittering as if he swallowed a swarm of bees.

 

Going into the library Erik first sat in one chair then another. He could not seem to alight anywhere for more than a few seconds.

 

Meg sat in the small buggy the innkeeper had let his son use to take her home. She only carried her night case with her. Everything else would come with Christine and Aubrey.

 

Meg smiled when she thought of Raoul’s cousin. Aubrey Rousseau had been quite entertaining while Meg had been in Paris. Raoul had introduced them with the intention of making a match. She and Aubrey both thought they would make better friends than potential lovers.

 

Upon Aubrey confessing his love for a shopkeeper’s daughter Meg had confessed she too had an interest in another person. She did not go into details as she feared Aubrey may well let something slip without meaning to. It had been all well and good to think she could leave Erik behind with little thought. It had been another when her mind began to play scenes where Erik did himself some harm.

 

In the beginning he had tried do just that but with little success. Meg and her mother had discussed the matter and concluded that a man with Erik’s intelligence their would have been no mistake made taking the correct amount of sleeping powder to end his life. It had been a bid for attention to his pain even if he could not address it himself.

 

With only a few minutes left Meg prayed she had done the right thing in bringing Christine to see Erik. It had taken much persuasion from both Meg and Christine to agree and then he only consented if Aubrey would be allowed to travel with them.

 

Truthfully Meg could say she had been relieved someone would be around other than servants when Erik and Christine faced one another after so short a time since all the heartache of the last few months.

 

Christine had been hesitant to comply with Meg’s request at first fearing her tutor may have not yet gotten over her and what she had done to him. That sort of betrayal is hard to find forgiveness in ones heart even if they love the betrayer as Erik had loved her.

 

Meg had found it odd that Christine still referred to Erik as her Angel or simply her teacher. When she spoke his name Christine sounded as if she spoke of some stranger rather than a man she had known for the last twelve years.

 

When Meg had asked Christine how she could have still believed him to be an angel after she had grown from the wide-eyed wonder of childhood.

 

Christine had sat for a few minutes in silence. Just when Meg had thought she may not answer Christine had told her that on reflection she had suspicions her teacher had less than angelic qualities as he did curse at her when she committed some silly error while singing one of his compositions.

 

She knew for sure when he took her down below that first time. Until that time Christine had said that she had never felt any fear when in the presence of her angel.

 

Meg could not help but note the number of times Christine had asked for Meg to tell her everything about Erik since he had left the opera house. They had to be careful where they held these discussions as Raoul tended to become a little belligerent when hearing of Christine’s Angel of Music. Raoul had a right to be upset and cautious. Had Erik not tried to kill Raoul twice as well as kidnap his fiancée with little regard for anyone’s safety?

 

Meg’s heart began to pound as they drew up in front of Erik’s home. It felt as if she were coming home. If everything worked out the way she hoped perhaps it would be Meg’s permanent residence.

 

Meg thanked the driver and handed him a small tip. He tipped his hat and left. For only a few seconds Meg felt her cowardly inner being readying to shout for Danny to come back. She conquered her fears entering the silent house.

 

She could hear neither music nor any conversation coming from any of the rooms. The maids should have been dusting the foyer and stairs today. Due to the manner in which she and Erik had parted perhaps they had taken cover in fear of a battle Royal coming their way.

 

Meg could hardly contain herself. She wanted to race around calling to Erik. She had missed him more than ever before. A month without his face or voice had seemed an eternity. If he had missed her only half as much there could be hope for them yet.

 

Taking off her gloves and hat Meg stalled for time. She could take her valise upstairs to her room. It weighed very little. No need to disturb one of the servants for something so small. Later she could inform them of her arrival. For now she would sneak up to her room to give her time to get her racing heart under control.

 

She had barely taken a step toward the staircase when Erik’s voice stopped her in her tracks.

 

“Not even coming in to say hello after such a long time away? I suppose it is no more than I should expect after my behavior during our last meeting.”

 

Meg turned slowly around hoping Erik could not read the joy in her face upon hearing his voice once more. Dear Lord had any man ever sounded so…so wonderful even speaking of mundane things? Erik could seduce her with his voice had he but known it. The words would be meaningless for she would be listening and feeling his tone slither along every nerve ending. She felt the shiver race up and down her back as gooseflesh popped out on her arms.

 

When she faced him fully her mouth dried as if something had sucked every molecule of moisture from her the inner recesses of her mouth. A month had done nothing to curb her silly reactions to Erik. If he put forth just a little effort to woe her, she would lay at his feet in supplication. It was a good thing he thought himself unattractive to women. Heaven help womankind if ever he learned just what he could do to them or at least her and Christine. Maman had even told her in the first years that Erik lived underneath the opera house she had felt stirrings for him herself. Meeting Meg’s father had ended any girlish fantasies Antoinette may have had toward Erik. After Meg had been born and Antoinette’s husband died, Erik had already begun to pull away from her. Christine’s arrival had been the beginning of the end of any real closeness between Antoinette and Erik.

 

“Erik, stop that. I know you did not mean to push me so hard. I should never have tried to destroy your work. I know what Christine means to you and it was a cruel thing to do. I have long since forgiven you.”

 

As Meg spoke she had been approaching Erik. When she stood in front of him Erik backed into the library so Meg could enter without chancing that she touch him as much as Erik would welcome any contact with Meg.

 

He had been denied the lingering scent of her that hung in the air of every room she entered. After only one day he could find not one room which held her essence.

 

“So, if anger at my behavior did not lengthen your stay in Paris could there have been another reason?” That hint of another reason for Meg staying away because of Raoul’s cousin had been as close as Erik would let himself go to ascertain whether or not Meg had any real interest in that other man.

 

Meg thought she detected what sounded like jealousy in Erik’s tone. She chided herself for wishful thinking. Besides had she not decided any feelings on her part were so much wasted emotion where Erik was concerned? It would seem her heart had other ideas on the matter.

 

“I did enjoy the company of Christine, Raoul and…” Meg paused so long Erik took a step toward her ready to shake the rest out of her.

 

When she remained mute Erik coaxed her irritation filling his voice, “And?” He wanted to shout, “Come on woman, out with it. You have found someone who has drawn your fancy.”

 

“Well I did meet a charming man, Raoul’s cousin in fact. We went about Paris quite often. He was a most charming companion. He indicated he would not mind in the least sharing more of my company.”

 

“I’ll bet he did.” Erik whispered the words under his breath so Meg had to lean forward to hear and then she could not understand what he said clearly.

 

“Erik let us go into the library. I have things to tell you that would be better spoken of behind closed doors and away from any ears that might overhear anything.”

 

A request for privacy had never been a lead in to anything pleasant in Erik’s experience. He dreaded having to sit quietly while Meg informed him that she would be returning to Paris as this new man in her life had won her affections.

 

Erik strode into the room first disregarding any gentlemanly manners in lieu of what he thought would be a painful discussion.

 

 

He could almost hear Meg letting him down easily as she told him that no longer could she tolerate him or his horrid temper.

 

When she rushed past him to go into the newly glassed in atrium Erik watched with pleasure as Meg spun around taking everything in. She placed her hands over her mouth to hold back the happy tears and the small sob working its way up her throat.

 

“How…why…Oh Erik it is simply beautiful. When did you dream this up? The last time I saw you the only thing I could imagine you creating had much darker implications than this sunny place conducive of nothing but relaxation and enjoyment.”

 

“As to why well it suited my purpose to have it as I plan to begin experimenting with growing new varieties of roses.” Erik hoped that led her away from thinking he had done any of it with her pleasure in mind.

 

“Roses? Oh…oh I see.” Meg’s enthusiasm began to wane as the true implication of his creation began to filter into her brain. He would grow roses as that had been the gift he had left for Christine after every success she ever made in the opera house. He would leave a perfect red rose tied with a black ribbon as a token of his admiration and pride in her.

 

He had never left Meg or anyone else so much as a weed. She remembered all those times she practiced until her toes bleed hoping some unseen genius would take her under his wing as one had come to Christine.

 

Never a word of praise had been given to Meg. Over the years she had begun to think herself not worthy of anyone’s admiration. Christine’s Angel using his power to her betterment had left Meg with the feeling she would always have something lacking in her talent.

 

“Well it is beautiful and I hope you do not intend to boot me out of the library to take it for your own. I know how you hate to share your space with anyone. I have been forbidden entrance into your music room unless invited. I would hate to be ousted from my favorite room in the house.”

 

“I suppose your presence would not be too intrusive. I shall allow you to continue to use it as you wish, but invade my privacy once and out you shall go.”

 

Erik cursed his need to feel superior. He could not seem to ever show any kinder feelings toward anyone, especially since Christine’s betrayal. He wanted to tell Meg she had inspired the room but thought it best not to let her know how much he had come to want and need her presence.

 

Knowing she could not delay informing of Christine’s imminent arrival Meg asked him to take a seat with her on the settee.

 

Erik felt his nerves come to attention. Meg usually sat as far from him as possible. In the beginning he had given her reason to wish to have distance from him as his temper had been unpredictable while agony ate into his soul over his lost love.

 

Thinking about his last time with Meg he could not think why she would even trust being in the same room with him. Meg had said she did not hold him to blame for his violence toward her but he held himself accountable.

Once they were seated Meg turned toward Erik wondering if having taken a seat so close to him had been such a brilliant idea after all. Sighing for her doubt Meg began to tell Erik just who had come back with her and that they would be arriving for afternoon tea tomorrow.

 

Erik sat as if he had been pole axed. Upon hearing Christine’s name in conjunction with Meg telling him she would be expecting to stay for a couple of weeks he nearly asphyxiated himself as his breath locked in his chest.

 

He felt the fog overtaking him as his head began to swirl about as if disconnected from his shoulders. When his eyes clouded with grey he felt certain he would faint.

 

Meg grabbing his arm giving him a hard shake drew him back into the here and now. He would compose himself then Meg would damn well tell him what this was all about.

 

How dare she bring Christine here just when he felt that his obsession with her may well be coming to an end. Erik cursed the fates for putting his newfound surety of some burgeoning attraction for Meg to the test.

 

Did she do this to taunt and test him? The wicked woman would pay for her folly if he learned that to be the case. He would not let her trifle with his affections. His heart was weary of never having anything tender to sustain it.

 

Erik began to work himself up into one of his angry tirades. He felt the boiling in his blood as his rage rose to the surface.

 

A veil of red drifted over his vision. If Meg were half as intelligent as he thought her she would leave now as he felt sure she could see the monster in him beginning to raise his ugly head.

 

As she continued to sit looking for all the world as if she felt sympathy for him, Erik mentally said to hell with it all, let things unfurl as they would.

 

Chapter Four

Trials of an Angel

 

Meg could see Erik’s ire building to the point her would near explode when he let everything out. He would at times lose sight of time and place as his rage spewed such awful words as well as dire threats for anyone and everyone who had ever done him some wrong.

 

Meg wanted to run when Erik had one of these fits. They were far worse than his usual shouting and ranting. During these unbridled fits of pure hate and rage Meg doubted Erik could differentiate between friend or foe.

 

Hoping to calm him Meg placed her hand carefully over Erik’s clenched fist. She tried to infuse as much calming influence into her words as she could.

 

“Erik, please, do not let yourself go into that dark place which takes you into its grasp so completely. I did not do this to hurt or humiliate you. I did it so you could face Christine and perhaps find some peace.

 

You know in your heart I would never deliberately hurt you or endanger Christine to one of your moments of sheer rage.

 

Erik have you not suffered enough? Is it not time to begin anew? Leave all that came before behind you. There is such a wonderful world with endless possibilities.

 

All you have to do Erik is grasp onto what is offered and let old hurts and sorrows be buried. I know they cannot be forgotten but they can be put in a place where they can no longer hurt you.

 

Cautiously Meg lifted her free hand to Erik’s face. He jerked away at her first touch. It was always the same. Any attempt of hers to touch him would be rejected when it came to his face. It had taken persistence for him to even allow her to touch any part of him without a violent response. Meg could only imagine what horrors Erik had suffered over the course of his life to leave him afraid of the human touch.

 

Letting him accustom himself to the knowledge she would not hurt him Meg continued with her intent to place her hand on Erik’s face.

She could not help but notice the blissful look upon his face once he felt the softness of her skin upon his own. His eyes had closed upon her first tender caress. He seemed almost to purr as Meg slowly began to move her hand over his face.

 

Watching intently Meg began to see the rage drain out of him. His body began to relax. She murmured nonsensical things to him. It did not matter the content as long as she kept that pleasing tone.

 

Meg would have taken greater liberties but felt now not to be the time to test Erik’s willingness to explore one another more fully. A step at time she kept reminding herself.

 

Already she had forgotten her resolve to move on from her useless infatuation with Erik. Once within his sphere of influence everything receded but the two of them. With all her heart she wished it could be the same for Erik.

 

“Erik do you feel better? More in control? I would not want your first meeting with Christine after so long a time to be anything less than pleasant, or at least as pleasant as present circumstances permit.”

 

Erik released his breath he had been holding since Meg touched him. She had surprised him when he felt the soft palm of her hand on his face.

 

His reaction had been one ingrained in him since the first cruel hand knocking him about the face as a child. Over the years the treatment he received from others had only ingrained his negative response to any attempt to touch him. Only when he wished to win Christine had he let down his guard. Look what a disaster that had been.

 

With Meg he felt total security. Never would she harm him. With his mind he knew that but instincts built over time had him jerking away from her. Once he had accustomed himself to expect her touch such rapturous emotions had gone throughout his body at that initial tentative caress.

 

If he could have frozen time he would have. When she reminded him of the reason for his anger Erik had felt a slight feeling of intrusion when he contemplated seeing Christine again.

After his shock had dissipated the anger had begun. Little else could infiltrate his mind until Meg’s touch had driven the rising monster back into hiding. Erik marveled that Meg was able to do thus simply with a soft touch.

 

“I…I think I am ready now to receive my guest when she comes. How…how is she? Does she fare well?” Even having come to the decision to let Christine go fully did not preclude his wish to be certain she was happy in her choice. If for one second he saw any disharmony in her from anything that boy had done, Erik would be whisking Christine away to parts unknown before anyone could be the wiser.

 

Erik may be coming to terms with losing Christine but could not let her go completely as of yet. Had she not been his sole focus for so many years? A person could not be expected to relinquish such a longstanding bond with another easily. For a man who had so few such bonds to lose one would cause such a rift in his soul that it might never be repaired.

 

“Erik you have all night to think on things. Plan what you will say and the questions you will ask. Christine is anxious to see you. She felt your separation nearly as badly as you did.

 

Erik for all your subterfuge and lies you told to her, Christine holds you dearly in her heart. You must not ever think she took your regard for her lightly. Indeed she feels your bond with her even now.

 

She has never spoken of you in anything other than high regard and respect. For all the things you did wrong Erik comforting Christine as a child was not one of them.

 

You can be proud of the influence you have had on making her the woman she is now. My sister is without doubt one of the most loving, kind and thoughtful creatures I know. In part this is due to the care you have given her over the years. Maman and I did our best to give Christine a sense of family over the years but her Angel of Music let her have a small link to her dead father.

 

Christine does love you Erik, believe that if you believe nothing else I say. Love has many forms and what Christine feels for you is complicated yet simple. Raoul has the larger portion of her heart. You Erik will always carry a small part of it wherever you go.”

 

Erik felt such confusing thoughts and feelings vying for supremacy inside him. He loved Christine but felt something, some connection to Meg. In her presence Erik felt more man than monster. He did not feel the need to go to ground taking her with him.

 

He wanted to be with Meg he felt certain but in exactly what capacity he had yet to decide. His last foray into the arena of romance had been disastrous to say the least. At this moment he could not honestly say just how deeply his feelings for Meg were they had crept up on him so subtly he had no chance to prepare for the ensuing deluge of emotions. His body seemed to have some misfire in its circuitry when in her presence.

 

Garnering all his resolve Erik informed Meg he would welcome his guests tomorrow with an open mind. He would temper his less than cordial emotions.

 

Once she had Erik’s assurance he would not let fly with his usual disregard for others she called the staff together to inform them of impending guests. That little announcement left everyone stunned and speechless.

 

Rooms were made ready. Meg made certain Christine had a room next to her own. If Erik went meandering around in the night Meg felt certain she would here him. Had she not become attuned to every nuance about the man?

 

Contrary to her belief she would sleep poorly Meg had a most restful night. She awoke refreshed and eager to face the day.

 

Erik had slept little as his thoughts had chased themselves around in vicious circles all night long. Images of Christine and Meg floated around not leaving him in peace.

 

Meg more often entered strangely sensual dreams that had in the last year only Christine as the woman Erik ravished in his more erotic moments.

 

He hoped that once face to face with Christine he could at last put her in a proper place as he would never have her as he had wished. Lost loves should be remembered but no at the cost of ever letting go so one could find another who could fill the empty places left by that lost love.

 

 

Erik tired of always feeling as if a piece of him had been ripped out never to be replaced. He wanted to be whole again. Never had he felt any sense of peace in is life but for those years when Christine had come into his life had he felt close to being a complete person. Not even his music could give him that. The philosophers believed everyone had a half of their soul wandering around the earth only waiting to find one another.

 

To have only half a soul Erik knew to be a miserable existence. At one time he felt as if he had no soul left at all. That had been his darkest days of hell on earth.

 

Both Erik and Meg had risen long before there was a need to get out of bed. They encountered one another just at the head of the stairs. Erik had bowed stoically for Meg to precede him.

 

When their footsteps headed in the same direction Meg could only feel gratitude for a kind fate. She wanted to have Erik to herself this morning as much as she could.

 

Perhaps if she filled his head with pleasant memories of them together just before Christine’s arrival Erik may be able to think of her instead of only Christine.

 

Meg felt somewhat childish for wishing now that some storm or other would spring up suddenly preventing Christine’s arrival. All last night Meg had lain thinking while she regretted bringing Christine into Erik’s life once more. It was inevitable they should meet but Meg now felt perhaps she should have waited until she and Erik had a chance to strengthen and explore this new relationship they had only recently discovered. On Meg’s part the feelings had been in place long before Erik felt even the slightest warmth toward Meg.

 

Even now Meg could not say Erik displayed anything other than tolerance toward her. At best she could claim some bit of friendliness toward her, most of the time anyway.

 

The time seemed to pass quickly as Erik proudly showed Meg every little detail of the room he had designed and constructed in her absence. Meg had teased that she would be making longer foray to Paris if such wonders would be waiting for her at home. She had missed Erik’s blanching as her back was turned toward him.

 

Just the mention of Meg leaving left Erik feeling bereft and the damn woman still stood by his side. What had he become that he let two diminutive women hold such sway over him? Where had all of his power and fear engendering aura disappeared to in such a short time?

 

The servant coming in to inform them a carriage had been seen coming down the drive had both occupants in the room standing stock still with bated breath.

 

Meg recovered first. She went to greet Christine and Aubrey out front. Fear gripped her insides but no one could guess from Meg’s calm exterior.

 

Just as the coach came to a halt Meg felt Erik sidle just behind the door. She almost chastised him for being melodramatic. For Erik hiding in the shadows had always been second nature. To observe potential enemies had been a natural response to anyone coming within spitting distance of him.

 

Aubrey stepped out of the carriage first as the driver went to set their luggage down on the gravel. Meg waited only long enough for Christine to set foot of the drive before she went to hug her warmly as she whispered in her ear that Erik was just behind the door. Meg didn’t want Erik to cause Christine any undue distress with his cloak and dagger tactics.

 

Erik felt the catch in his chest as Christine alighted from the carriage. The two women embracing were a contrast in colors as well as personality.

 

Christine was the dark shades of autumn while Meg was the bright light of summer. While Christine had always been a quiet child Meg had run about the opera house at full speed shouting to all she passed. Her exuberance had sheltered Christine once they had become friendly and Meg had gotten over her jealousy of Christine’s intrusion into her relationship with Meg’s mother.

 

Erik had never taken note of how often Meg had taken on the blame for things Christine had done. Christine wilted at the slightest rise in a person’s voice. Meg stood her ground giving back as good as one gave.

 

Meg leading Christine into the house loosened Erik’s feet from where they had seemed to be glued. Now he all but ran back to the sanctuary of the atrium. He hoped to still his pounding heart before he must face Christine.

 

Erik opted to stand rather than sit as his height would give him the advantage over those of shorter stature. He frowned in irritation as Meg took the hand of the man who accompanied Christine. No doubt this would be the, oh so perfect de Chagny cousin. Erik could not miss the likeness of the man before him to that of Raoul or from the man in the papers.

 

It did not earn the man any favor with Erik that he stood within an inch of Erik’s own 6’4” height. The idiotic congenial smile upon the man’s face further alienated Erik. Meg introduced him as Monsieur Aubrey de Chagny.

 

Erik ignored the man’s outstretched hand merely bowing with ill grace toward him with barely an acknowledgement of his presence.

 

Christine’s gasped “Angel” drew all eyes to her. She blushed furiously to have spoken to the man she knew as her tutor in the old familiar way. She had never called him Erik to his face. She had not seen or heard his voice since she and Raoul had left the underbelly of the opera house.

 

She had dreamt of him often over the last few months. The dreams had been coming less often as time passed. Now with his magnificence right before her once more Christine wondered how she could have begun to forget just how powerful his mere presence was.

 

He could lure her with just his voice. When he sang to her Christine had always felt her will seeping away. She became his to control had he but known it. Raoul’s coming back into her life had lessoned her Angel’s influence over her.

 

“Christine.” Erik could speak not one word more as Christine gazed back at him in the way she always had. She had always relinquished every bit of herself to him to do with as he wished. He had never used that against her until Raoul had come between them.

 

“Christine, Erik I believe the two of you wish to catch up on everything that has been happening since you last saw one another.

 

Aubrey and I will make ourselves comfortable out in the new atrium Erik constructed during my absence. I have not had time to fully appreciate all its hidden wonders just yet. I took the liberty of asking for a pot of tea as well as some refreshing lemonade.

 

Erik if you will excuse us we will wait while you have your visit. If you need anything, anything at all we are just but a call away.”

 

Erik felt Meg stressed her closeness to the library for Christine’s benefit as well as his own. Did she think he would harm Christine? Erik could never imagine doing any intentional harm to Christine. A few times he had let his anger outweigh his good sense and had in his anger knocked her to the floor. One of those times had been to the stone floor of his home underneath the opera house. Christine had ripped his mask from his face just as she caressed his face with such a loving hand. She had lulled him into a euphoric state of bliss causing him to be unprepared for her thoughtless action.

 

He had apologized profusely and thought she had truly forgiven him as her actions had been questionable. She should never have taken off his mask without his permission. No one touched his face without due harm unless Erik permitted it.

 

As Meg and de Chagny left he unconsciously took a position near the doors to the atrium so he could see Meg as well as that young pup with her. When Meg went behind plants that were tall enough to hide her from his sight Erik came to the conclusion those plants should be placed somewhere else for better effect.

 

“Angle, I…I mean Erik. Oh it is so good to see you. I apologize for the slip. It is so hard for me to think of you as anything other than my Angel of Music. I have known you as thus far longer than I have known your name to be Erik.

 

Meg does chastise me whenever I make the mistake of using your old persona. You have a true champion in Meg. She has been filling me and Maman in on your progress.

 

She has nothing but wonderful things to say about you. I do think she knows you far better than I even though you and I have had a relationship far longer than you and she.”

 

Christine felt just a little niggle of jealousy enter her as she spoke of Erik and Meg’s new found closeness. Christine had always been the only one that Erik spoke to as a companion and friend. Later he had wanted more, more than she could give.

 

It pained Christine to hear from Meg how much Erik still suffered her loss. If she could change anything for the better she would but not to the point of losing anything she had with Raoul. Raoul had become her whole life.

 

If Christine were perfectly honest it had been a boon to her that her Angel still pined for her. In the back of her mind she would know she always had someone she could run to if live became too difficult.

 

She now knew a little of how Erik felt when she had been the sole focus of his attention. That is how she felt about Raoul. She prayed that by the end of this visit she could help Erik move on. Christine had gotten the impression Meg would not be adverse to Erik’s attentions.

 

Meg would be perfect for Erik. Meg was kind of nature, outgoing, loving, willing to do almost anything to make others feel better about themselves. Anyone who came within Meg’s aura could not help but be lifted by her exuberance toward life. Christine tried to shove the little prick of jealousy the thought of Erik with someone else caused back into hiding.

 

“How…how have you been Christine? Are…are you…has that boy made you happy?” Erik felt as if her were choking. His throat tightened with all the emotions he felt.

 

Every moment he had ever spent with Christine played clearly across his inner eye as if it were only now happening. Each moment in time seemed precious to him. He could not help but wonder if Christine remembered him as he remembered her.

 

“Oh Erik Raoul is wonderful. He is kind and always patient with my immature ways. He encourages me to expand my knowledge. He does not mind one bit if I improve my mind. He even said he would be willing to support me if I wished to return to the stage. I don’t think I will as being his wife takes so much of my time. Later…well later we…we may have children.”

 

Christine could not bear the pain she saw clearly etched across Erik’s face. She cursed her thoughtless chattering. She could simply have told him she was happy without elaborating.

 

As much as Christine had wanted to see her Angel once more she had been ill-prepared for the meeting. All those strange feelings in her stomach came fluttering back to life within only a few seconds in his company.

 

This man, Erik, had more power over her than she felt comfortable with. Christine was well aware how Meg felt about Erik. At first Christine had been jealous to think her angel could possibly be interested in anyone other than herself. It had finally dawned on her feeble brain that Erik and Meg would be good for one another.

 

Christine may in her deepest part of her soul resent Erik finding someone else but also she cared enough for him to want him to find happiness, if it could not be with her, then with someone worthy of him. Meg she felt would be able to handle Erik. She had managed all these months and lived to tell the tale.

 

The little daggers sticking into Erik’s heart upon every word of her happiness without him, drew a little bit more of Erik’s blood. Much more and he felt his life would drain away.

 

What had he expected, that she would rush to him declaring she could not live a moment longer without him? Had he really thought she would leave that boy?

 

Erik cursed the power Christine had over him. Why had he let her imbed her tentacles into his flesh and heart so completely?

 

He should have known to keep his heart intact, free from foolish encumbrances that would only lead to disappointment. Had not his life shown him that nothing good would ever be his? Fleetingly Meg’s smiling face flashed into his mind. He felt a measure of comfort with that little reminder of a woman who had shown him more kindness and tolerance than anyone in his life ever had. Even when he had been at his worst she had stood by until his rage had passed then calmly set about restoring order as well as speaking words of comfort in her soft melodic voice. If anyone he had ever known deserved the title of angel it was Meg. She had truly been proven a saintly godsend for him.

 

Tears were not far away. Erik fought back those weak droplets that would prove him to be a lesser man than others. He had done enough sobbing in Christine’s presence to last him a lifetime. He’d not unman himself in that way again.

 

Erik sought the anger in him against Christine and Raoul. He began to recount every transgression, every slap in the face. Most infuriating of all was to recall Christine’s betrayal of him in front of half of Paris. Nothing she had done could have crushed his spirit to greater effect than to remove his mask.

 

Willfully she had exposed his shame before them with no thought as to how devastating the action would be. She had to know that would render the deepest wound.

 

“I am glad to hear of how happy you are. You will be gratified to know I too have been able to move past my little obsession. You can’t imagine how relieved I am not to be burdened with the chains of unrequited love around me.

 

I am free from that madness, for madness is all it was, or more precisely desperation. You need have no more concern or worry about poor, dear, monstrous Erik. He will manage quite nicely without you.”

 

Erik was rewarded for his crass attitude by Christine’s crestfallen face. Did she think him incapable of ridding himself of her shackles around his heart and soul? Perhaps she had pictured him years from now a doddering old man still pining for his love. His heart did still feel held by her delicate hands but in time that would lesson, he hoped. Surely time would weaken the hold she had on him, although Erik was not quite as confident as he had hoped he would be.

 

Even if that might be the reality of it Erik would not let a hint of that possibility to come to light. He’d not grovel or play the pitiful creature of darkness for her ever again.

 

With each rejection of Christine’s power over him Erik could feel a lightening within him. Was this what it felt like to rid oneself of a debilitating burden?

 

“I…I am quite relieved that…that you have recovered so quickly,” Christine lied as she held back her tears. She had expected to find him morose and heartbroken as Meg had told her he was.

 

He seemed to not care one way or another if she were here or not. Christine felt the first trickle of a tear roll down her cheek. She had lost the affections of her Angel. She did not think she could bear it if he were to abandon her altogether.

 

Christine selfishly expected Erik to still be willing to grovel at her feet for any scrap she would throw at him. He had always been ready to praise her, compliment her. She could always count on his wholehearted support of her.

 

For him to be so cruel now shattered the illusion she held complete power over him. She had thought he would always belong to her. She had Raoul but her Angel was someone special. He had been only for her as her father had promised. Even if he had turned out to be only a man Christine still believed he had been sent to her as a guide and guardian. If she had developed feelings for him that was to be expected as Erik as her Angel had been commanding figure with a dark sensual appeal.  

 

Erik had to turn away from Christine as he saw that first tear glistening on her lashes. When it rolled slowly down her cheek he had to grip his hands into fists to stay the hand that wanted to brush away her tears then promise he would never abandon her. Whenever she needed him or wanted him, he would be there for her.

 

If he was to live a somewhat contented life he must break the bond between them. Erik felt as if he might die with the aching he felt tightening the muscles around his heart. If he did not end this quickly he would be at her feet begging her to let him serve as a dog at her feet.

 

No! He would not place himself in her careless hands again. He may love her still, he may always love her but he could not go through that again. This time he knew for certain it was a hopeless cause as she loved Raoul and had bound herself to him in marriage.

 

Curtly Erik wished her well then exited the room quickly before his resolve dissolved as he heard her sobbing openly now. His step faltered for a second then he heard Meg’s laughter coming from the sitting room.

 

His steps detoured from going toward the stairs to take him to the door of the sitting room. He stood looking in at the couple. They seemed quite happy to be together. Erik felt an odd stirring within him as he watched Meg place her hand on de Chagny’s forearm.

 

Erik felt the urge to rip that man’s arm completely from his body rising within him. He swallowed down the threatening words that wanted to spill out.

 

Raoul had brought out this same uncontrolled rage. Perhaps not so uncontrollable now as Erik did not attack the man with his Punjab. Erik’s hand went to where normally he would have kept that thin lethal weapon. The pocket was empty as he knew it would be. He might have need of it another time. Erik reminded himself to begin carrying his weapon of choice once again.

 

Catching Meg’s smiling glance at him Erik held his breath for a moment as he looked into her innocent eyes. He saw only an open kindness staring back at him. No fear, no hate, and no horror. Even after what he had done to her she had come back willing to forgive him. She had not said the words but he could see it there looking back at him. Something else lay hidden behind all that emotion shining out of her eyes. He dearly wished he could read her emotions. 

 

Determination in every step Erik stepped into his sitting room. He’d be damned if he went into hiding in his own home while he had guests. Erik’s mind froze for a moment savoring that thought. He, the former Phantom and Ghost had guests. Not an angry mob come to kill him, not the Gypsies to put him in a cage, not any of those people in his life who would do him harm unless he took action first.

 

Today he was…for the first time Erik would be a host. People were in his home under his good graces. If he chose not to receive them he could have them tossed out on their ear. That thought brought a wide smile to Erik’s lips. Striding with more confidence Erik nodded toward Meg and de Chagny. He took a seat as close to Meg without being obvious he was staking his claim to her.

 

Meg blinked to see Erik with an actual smile on his face. She could never get him to smile. He might chuckle halfheartedly at times but never did he let pure joy in anything show through his grime façade.

 

It pleased her that his first real smile had been directed at her. She in return gave him a blindingly bright grin in return.

 

Erik sat back ready to enjoy himself. From the look of Meg’s response to him she was pleased with his cordiality to his guest.

 

Perhaps Erik would not Punjab the man. Meg would not approve. He would much rather have Meg’s highest regard than rid himself of a riv…Erik stopped that thought before it could finish playing across his mind.

 

Did he think of this man as his rival? Stealing a look at Meg his heart tripped at Meg’s expression which was trained directly on him.

 

It almost seemed…could that be affection he saw shining back at him? Erik felt foolishly giddy. He chastised himself. A man did not become giddy. He tried to keep a stern look on his face but his mouth would not cooperate whenever he caught Meg’s glancing in his direction, which to him seemed more often than not.

 

Neither Meg nor Erik took notice of Aubrey making his own assessments and judgments. While carrying on with the conversation Aubrey would cast a discerning glance at one then the other. More often than not they were engrossed in one another even when speaking to him. Interesting to say the least. He’d keep his eyes and ears open. Raoul had not known of this new wrinkle when he had enlisted Aubrey to accompany Meg and Christine on this mission. Things would definitely not be boring.

 

Chapter Five

Letting go and Holding On

 

Christine had joined them about fifteen minutes after Erik. He had made Christine’s excuses for her. He told them she had not felt well and went to splash water on her face.

 

When Meg would have gone to Christine Erik told her Christine had asked that they not worry. She just needed to refresh herself then she would be fine.

 

Meg looked at Erik doubtfully. Christine had seemed fine when she went to join him in the library. She had even seemed eager to speak to him alone.

 

She had been afraid of this. Erik had more than likely been cruel to protect himself. Meg had not wanted either of them to be hurt but this confrontation had been needed for both of them.

 

Christine could not continue to think that if anything went wrong in her life between her and Raoul she had this devoted man waiting in the wings to save her is things did not go as she wished.

 

It was not fair to Erik for her to keep his affections while breaking his heart. Erik had needed to let Christine go. He may not ever get over her completely as first love is often the one remembered with a jaundiced eye. No matter how bitter the ending it is the times in the beginning we tend to remember the most.

 

Meg’s first real love unfortunately for her had been Erik. She had never felt for any man what Erik could wring out of her without trying.

 

He could melt her with a look even if he was scowling at her. When he spoke she had to keep a severe hold on her emotions and thoughts. Everything parading through her mind centered on the bedroom and illicit things she wished to do to him and have done to her.

 

Meg recalled many uncomfortable conversations with Erik that she had to excuse herself or do something embarrassing to herself and Erik, more humiliating on her part though.

 

Holding out her hand toward Christine Meg had patted the seat beside her. After that first meeting of the eyes Christine would not look at Meg again. Meg had not missed her red eyes or red nose.

Aubrey bless him was too much of a gentleman to let on that anything was amiss. He had no doubt been informed of all that had happened in Paris between Christine, Raoul and Erik. Meg had to give Raoul credit. He had not told Aubrey anything horrendous about Erik as Aubrey had not even brought a weapon should Erik show his darker side.

 

If she was on the wrong side of Erik Meg thought she might pack a full artillery of weapons. Erik was a formidable man in any circumstances. When angered he could be very dangerous. His mind worked like a steal trap.

 

Meg left the two men to speak about the political intricacies of the world and various other matters she would normally be interested in discussing herself. Right at this moment Christine needed Meg’s support.

 

Attempting to ease the palpable tension in the room Meg addressed Christine trying to draw her out. It hurt Meg to see Christine so distressed. Meg would love to know just exactly what had taken place when Erik and Christine had been left alone in that room.

 

“So Christine, tell me, what do you think of Erik’s home? It looks wonderful now but was a bit run down when he bought it. I must say that I fell in love with this place the moment I saw it. Erik has done wonders with everything. The atrium he built while I was gone is only one of the marvelous things Erik is capable of.

 

Of course you know of his composing as well as his splendid voice but did you know Erik is an inventor and is quite a talented architect?

 

I was simply amazed when I learned that a lot of the artwork and statuary was created with Erik’s talents. I should have known how talented he is creating beautiful things. I have seen all those drawings he had done of you over the years. I was quite jealous let me tell you.

 

I think it is a great compliment when an artist commits your likeness to paper.” Meg brushed her hand down over her already smooth skirts as she paused to cast a look in Erik’s direction. It still bothered her that Erik had never drawn any likeness of her, at least not any that she knew of. On the other hand he had hundreds of poses of Christine. Some she hoped were only drawn from his imagination and not from actual observation as they were quite provocative.

 

Erik feeling Meg’s gaze looked in her direction while still listening to Aubrey continue to make his point about the current stat of affairs in the world.

 

The smile Meg gave him nearly stopped his heart then had it hammering in his chest like a sledge hammer beating against a rock. He felt the vibrations all through his body. He began to feel a warm flush suffuse his face and neck. Other parts of him took on extra blood supply in a crass reaction to her continued look in his direction. Erik felt confusing emotions swamping him along with the normal male reaction to an attractive woman.

 

Erik’s eye began to move from Meg to Christine then back again. The contrast between the two women was quite evident. One woman so light and fair, with confidence radiating from every pore, the other woman dark with deep depths of confusion in her eyes as well as some sort of sadness. Erik imagined he had a lot to do with Christine’s confusion and sadness. 

 

He felt guilt for his actions over the years toward Christine but none so great as for what he had done in the most recent periods of their acquaintance.

 

His manipulation of Christine’s malleable mind all those years had to have left some mark in her psyche. As he looked at Christine’s red rimmed eyes and sad face he felt a wave of tenderness come over him. He should apologize for his harshness in dealing with her. He had not meant to cause her any pain. His objective had been to secure a release from the hold she had on him. He had hoped to unbind the chains that bound them together so they both could be free to move on without regrets or looking back on their parting with doubts.

 

Erik thought that Raoul would be far better for Christine than he could ever be. She always wilted under his temper whereas Meg always let him spit fire until his anger slowly burned out. Once his anger had been spent she calmly but firmly put him in his place.

 

Meg caught Erik’s tender look he cast toward Christine. If he ever once looked at her like that there would be no stopping her from showing him exactly how she felt about him.

 

She contemplated doing so anyway and taking her chances. What kept her from acting so foolish was the chance that he would not return her feelings. If she ever declared herself to Erik and he did reject her Meg would have to return to France and would never wish to see Erik ever again.

 

After leaving to go to their rooms for dinner everyone separated to rest or do as they wished until dinner. Meg wanted to change her dress and bathe. She had not missed how elegant Christine had looked.

 

What woman worth her salt would not want to try to impress the man she wanted to attract? Meg may not be as beautiful as Christine but she wasn’t the Ugly Duckling either.

 

Meg chose a gown that gave her light coloring an ethereal look. She had gathered her air and pinned it so that the hair she had gathered into the hair clip hung down to her waist with little curling tendrils on both sides of her temples and at her ears. She looked much like Aphrodite must have looked when she worked her magic on mortal men.

 

The reaction Meg had received from Erik and Aubrey boosted her morale. Christine looked lovely in her blue silk gown. She looked a little less sad this evening. Meg had spoken to her earlier trying to ease Christine’s melancholy mood before she went into one of her depressions.

 

Meg had not been overly coddling toward Christine. That was not what her sister needed. Christine needed to know just what she would be losing if she pursued this childish infatuation for Erik.

 

Meg had told Christine in the plainest terms just what she would lose and what she might or might not gain. Erik at the best of times could be unpredictable. That he had some romantic feelings for Christine Meg did not doubt. Meg felt sure both Erik and Christine had built their tenuous relationship on a house of cards. One little slip and the whole thing would tumble into a heap of ruin.

 

Despite Erik being a man of thirty plus years in maturity at times he seemed a mere boy. His life underneath the opera house had not allowed for him to grow from boyhood to manhood in the normal way. Erik had no father figure to model himself after.

 

Erik’s whole existence after he had left the fair had been one of selfish indulgence. In his childhood he had had so little that once he came into power at the opera house Erik had become somewhat of a despot.

 

His power over Christine had been complete until Raoul had made his reappearance back into her life. Meg could remember how confused and nervous Christine had been during those dark days. Erik had a lot to answer for. He did seem willing to take the blame for what he had done.

 

Much to Meg’s amazement Erik treated Aubrey cordially. He even went so far as to engage in a civil conversation with the man. Meg could not keep the delight she felt from showing on her face. She knew she must be grinning like a Cheshire cat but could not keep her pleasure from showing.

 

Whenever her glance met Erik’s he did seem to curl the left side of his mouth upward just the tiniest bit. Rarely had Meg seen Erik smile. When he did grace her with a full grin he nearly took her breath away.

 

Meg could not help but admire Erik and compare him to Aubrey. For a man who had been hidden away in the bowels of the earth, Erik had taken care of himself very well. She could not help but notice his perfectly aligned teeth gleaming a brilliant white when he spoke.

 

He had forgone wearing the wigs he wore during his reign as the Phantom. Meg had thought him very handsome with his dark black wig but his own dark brown hair, although thin on the right side seemed to beckon her fingers to slide through the silky strands. Whenever that lock of hair just at the front of his head fell onto his forehead Meg had to restrain her hand from reaching up so she could brush them back into place.

 

Meg watched and listened closely whenever Erik and Christine exchanged words. It did seem as though they had come to some mutual agreement. What it was Meg had no idea. Christine did not appear to be quite as sad as she had earlier in the day.

 

Perhaps after she and Meg had spoken Christine had reevaluated her relationship with both Erik and Raoul. If it were Meg doing the choosing she had no doubt which man she would have at her side.

 

For Meg, Erik would be the right choice, for Christine Raoul was the one who would make her the happiest. Erik would run roughshod over Christine even if that was not his intention. Erik had developed such a strong personality it would take a stronger woman than Christine to meet him halfway.

 

Meg had proven herself to be a worthy match for Erik over the past few months. She had learned how to deal with all the different aspects of his personality. At times she could even control him without it seeming as if she did so.

 

With Erik everything was a delicate balance. He had to have a little leeway to let his own personality shine through but needed someone who could curtail his tendencies to grab at everything he wanted without regard for the feelings of those around him.

 

At the end of the evening Meg lingered once again after Christine and Aubrey had said their goodnights. Meg wanted to share a few intimate moments with Erik but unexpectedly she felt shy in his presence. Why she suddenly felt tongue-tied mystified her.

 

She who had survived his rages nearly unscathed now felt nervous about how to let him know she would welcome any advance he might make.

 

Steeling a glance upward at Erik Meg caught her breath at the intensity of the look he gave her. Apparently he had been staring at her with single-minded concentration.

 

When Erik took a couple of long legged strides in her direction Meg thought she might faint. So much for bravery when facing the lion on the prowl. Meg looked up into Erik’s handsome face that at the moment had such a look of what Meg could only interpret as desire she nearly expired from the accelerated beat of her heart.

 

Erik’s green eyes seemed to have a fire lit behind them, one which might shoot out and scorch her. Meg did not think she would mind being engulfed in those flames.

 

Silently Erik extended his hand out toward Meg. He left it up to her to accept or decline his invitation to come to him. Erik may look as if he was in control but his insides felt jittery. If Meg refused his hand Erik thought he might once and for all crawl into some hole and bury himself for eternity.

 

Meg grasped Erik’s hand eagerly. He pulled slightly to bring her up against him. Erik let his eyes roam over every inch of Meg’s face. When he came to rest on her lips Erik could not stop the downward movement of his head if he had wanted to.

 

Erik felt Meg lift up on her toes to meet his lips. The first touch of lip to lip was soft and sweet. Erik moved his lips in a caress against Megs. She gasped giving him access to her inner sweetness.

 

Once they touched tongue to tongue neither could restrain the groan of need that worked its way up from their very core. As if on cue they both raised their hands to delve their fingers into those enticingly silky strands that had driven them crazy all night.

 

Erik removed the clips that held Meg’s hair at the back of her head. As they dropped to the floor Erik ran his fingers through Meg’s lustrous hair. He had never felt anything so soft and silky. The fragrance of those golden strands intoxicated him. He could not resist burying his face in the nape of Meg’s neck so he could inhale her very essence.

 

With tender caresses Meg explored Erik as she had longed to do. His hair was just as wonderful to touch as she had thought it would be. The texture of his skin was both soft and hard.

 

She let her hand discover the bristles of his end of the day beard. Meg felt the tickle of them against her fingers and the palm of her hand. In her mind she imagined them against other parts of her.

 

Her mind seemed all too ready to let her explore forbidden territory. Whether Erik knew it or not Meg knew it would be so easy for him to persuade her to abandon her morals giving into her persuasive allure.

 

Erik had a heady affect on Meg, much as one on some narcotic would feel Meg imagined. Erik made her feel light headed, weak willed and craving more of his caresses. Her body clamored for bolder more intensive touches.

 

As Meg felt Erik’s hand move to her breast she knew she must soon halt this or lose herself completely to his seductive power. She wanted to feel his hand on her skin to skin so she allowed him to loosen her top and the ribbons laces of her corset. Even as inexperienced as Meg was she knew Erik had never done anything like this before. His fingers were clumsy and unsure. The shaking of his hands gave away his nervousness. Meg shivered when she felt his hand for the first time where no man had ever touched her or even set eyes upon that portion of her.

 

Just as she would have stayed his hand Erik lowered his head to engulf her nipple in his warm moist mouth. Meg nearly buckled at the knees the pleasure was so intense. Her mind began to fog wanting only to concentrate on all those new sensations Erik had invoked within her. Meg struggled to gain control. It wasn’t easy by any means but she did at last clear her passion fogged mind to call a halt to any further seduction Erik may have in mind.

 

Meg placed her hands on either side of Erik’s head and gently pushed him away as she said, “Stop Erik. Please stop now.”

 

At first Erik did not comprehend what Meg had said as his whole focus had been on the delectable display before his eyes and the hitherto for never experienced exchange of passion.

 

Once Erik’s mind took in her words an overwhelming shame as well as the hurt of her rejection overtook the passion haze he had been in. Erik stepped back from Meg ready to flee any further humiliation when she spoke once more.

 

Meg could see the hurt in Erik’s eyes. He had misunderstood her meaning. She also interpreted the steps he took to distance himself from what he perceived as her rejection. Meg would not let Erik leave her without making it perfectly clear to him how she felt. If she had use terms used by those of lower class so be it. Meg could be quite graphic if need be thanks to growing up in an opera house where backstage sexual antics were the norm as well as the discussion of them.

 

Meg grabbed Erik’s hands before he could turn and flee. “Erik no, don’t leave just yet. You misunderstand me if you think I did not want or enjoy all you did. It may seem unladylike to speak so boldly but I must make you understand how I feel.

 

I wanted your kisses. I want your lips and hands on my flesh, everywhere.” Meg felt the heat rushing to her cheeks but now was not the time to give into the vapors or false modesty.

 

“Erik the only reason I stopped you from going further was because you have not resolved all of your issues with Christine.”

 

“Meg I think I lo…” Meg would not let him finish that declaration.

 

“Erik until we can all be sure we can commit ourselves to one person we should not make any declarations that could led to further heartache. I know how I feel about you. Nothing will change that. Even if…even if your feelings turn out to be merely attraction for a convenient and willing woman mine will remain the same. Until you know for sure I will not go further than what we have shared tonight. That is not to say we must forgo all exchanges of affection. If we happen to be alone I would not spurn a kiss from you if you wish to share such a display of affection with me that is.”

 

Erik could have persuaded Meg that he had put all thoughts of Christine behind him. Perhaps he had as he had earlier thought and so informed Christine. Then again maybe he had only reacted out of spite or some petty revenge for how she had treated him and his offer of love and devotion.

 

Meg had not come right out and declared that she loved him but she had not firmly slammed and locked the door on that either. With the mess he had been after Christine’s rejection perhaps it would not hurt to once and for all either come to terms with loving Christine and living alone with that knowledge or finally laying the ghost of their short romance at last to rest in peace and move on with someone who did care for him without reservations. Someone who did not have prior attachments to claim any part of their heart.

 

Erik tentatively reached out for Meg. When she did not shy away from him, he pulled her toward him with one hand on her arms. Her skin felt so warm and soft beneath his. Erik could not resist running his hands up and down Meg’s arms. She shivered and closed her eyes. A low rumble from her throat sounded almost as if Meg had begun to purr like a contented cat.

 

When Erik stepped closer to her then took her face between his hands Meg groaned out his name. Not Opera Ghost or Phantom. His given name, Erik floated gently across his lips from hers. Erik could feel the acceleration of her heartbeats. Looking down he noticed neither of them had redone her corset or her dress buttons. Erik’s own breath came much quicker as he gazed at her smooth creamy skin. He remembered vividly how it had felt under his fingers and mouth. He dare not venture there again or he would do something he would regret. Erik would take no chances on alienating Meg just when they were at last admitting to having some regard for one another.

 

Erik placed his lips on Meg’s for one last fleeting kiss before he whispered hoarsely, “I shall do as you ask. I won’t like it but I shall do it. Would you perhaps go for an early morning ride with me before breakfast? I promise to be on my best behavior. I will not do anything you do not want me to do.”

 

“Erik somehow that does not reassure me as I don’t think I can trust myself with you. You my dear Erik have more appeal than you are aware of. The good Lord only knows what sort of rake you would have been if you knew of your power over mere females. I will go with you tomorrow as I want to spend as much time with you as possible. I think it only fair I be allowed to show you what I can offer you so you can compare Christine and me.

 

You hardly know either of us just as we hardly know you. For all the years you taught Christine the two of you really did not have a relationship that could be said to be normal. You did not exchange words other than cursory greetings and good-byes. Most of your time had been spent on the musical aspects between you and Christine.

 

I can’t say I will be pleased or not even slightly jealous but I would rather know now if you cannot let go of her completely.

 

There is one other thing we have not addressed. Now I suppose would be a good time to tell you. You must not let your anger overcome your good sense when I tell you this bit of news Erik. No tantrums or destruction.

 

If you feel your emotions overwhelming you I give you my permission to kiss me until your anger has passed. I am willing to make that sacrifice.” Meg felt secure in Erik’s affections enough to joke with him even knowing what she would say next might anger him.

 

Erik only listened with half his attention. The other half was occupied with the wonderful exploration of Meg’s skin. Erik could not resist once again kissing those places his hands touched. He marveled that Meg let him do such intimate things to her.

 

“Raoul is coming here Erik. He and Maman are at the inn. Maman stayed behind to keep Raoul company. We did not feel it wise to spring him on you along with Christine.”

 

Erik’s exploration halted abruptly at the mention of Raoul’s name. At first all the old animosity came boiling to the surface. Erik inhaled deeply. Meg’s fragrance filled his senses bringing him back to the here and now.

 

Erik pondered the emotions filling him at the moment. In Meg’s presence Raoul did seem to important or to indeed be of any concern to Erik.

 

What had been anger toward the young man while they vied for Christine’s hand had been the lustful yearnings of a man who had only ever loved one woman. Erik had taken all his rage out on Raoul for coming along ruining his chance for happiness.

 

Men and women everywhere suffer the same fate and most do not take such violent means to win the object of their affections as Erik had. It shamed him at times the lengths he had taken to gain Christine’s affections only to lose her to another.

 

As Erik looked into Meg’s eyes and face which held innocence as well as earnest affection for him, he felt a shifting of something deep within him.

 

With almost complete certainty he thought what he felt were the pangs of true love. He did not have the feverish desperation he had felt when competing for Christine’s love. Of course Erik did not have a competitor, at least her surmised Meg to be free of encumbrances. She had seemed to be only on friendly terms with Aubrey.

 

Erik would swear that Meg was not the type to cavort with one man while having another man waiting in the wings. A dishonest person would not be able to look another in the eye while the lie slipped from their tongue. Meg held his gaze fixedly even if a little shyly. She did not look away from him when she spoke of her feelings.

 

Meg had begun to think Erik would not be answering he took so long to respond. For a brief moment Meg thought she had misjudged Erik’s response to her. She sighed in relief when he spoke once more in a calm and firm voice. Their was neither anger nor sadness in his voice.

 

“I can’t say with one hundred percent certainty how I will respond when face to face with Raoul. At the moment he is of little concern to me. Of course I have not seen him since he took Christine from my home.

 

At the time I thought nothing of relieving Raoul of his life. It shames me to say that I used that act of finality far too often in my life Meg. I want you to know all the horrible things I have done before you commit yourself to me. Once the issue of Christine and Raoul are out of the way I promise I will tell you my whole sordid life.

 

You need to know just what sort of man you will be aligning yourself with when you choose me. For most of my life I did not live as other men did. I am a selfish man Meg. One used to getting things by fair means or fowl. Perhaps that is why I hated Raoul so much. Things came to him so easily.

 

It only took reuniting with Christine for her to fall at his feet. I had known her for over ten years. Admittedly the strangeness of Christine’s relationship with me was all my doing.

 

It is rather ironic that she looked upon me as the Angel of Music while some called me the Angel of Death. Don’t ask me just yet about that reference to a dark part of my life. I will tell you everything but as you say I need to resolve other issues first.

 

Now I think we should both head to our beds if we are to ride before breakfast. A brisk gallop will perhaps put me in a favorable frame of mind to receive Raoul in my home. Who knows, we could become great friends.”

 

“Erik I will be content if we have peace during his stay without anyone coming to any harm. I don’t ask that you make Raoul your closest friend. I only want you not to try to harm him. I would not want you or Raoul to suffer any injury.”

 

Meg and Erik walked hand and hand to the stairs. Slowly they made their way up to the floor where their bedrooms were located. Neither seemed in any great hurry to part from the other.

 

Erik bypassed his room to escort Meg to her room as a gentleman should. The lingering kiss they shared perhaps did not fall under the terms of an acceptable exchange between a man and woman not even betrothed to one another. Neither Erik nor Meg cared on whit for propriety at the moment.

 

Erik just barely restrained himself from letting out a loud whoop of triumph after Meg was safely behind her bedroom door. He had a woman who openly admitted to having feelings for him while kissing him senseless.

 

Tonight Erik knew his dreams would not be haunted by ghosts from his past. His mind was buzzing with thoughts of Meg. Erik wanted to march straight back down the hall to Meg’s room so they might explore more of what men and women shared when in love. His promise to Meg was all that kept him headed back to his own room.

 

Erik touched his lips with his fingertips reliving the taste and feel of Meg’s mouth upon his own. Had a woman ever tasted so sweet? Erik tried to recall the emotions he had felt when Christine had kissed him.

 

The overwhelming emotions suddenly had a negative feeling to them. He felt gratitude she dared to kiss him knowing what he looked like. He felt saddened that he had done such horrid things to no good end. At the time he had not even had lustful feelings really when she had pressed those two kisses on his lips. At first he had thought they had been passionate. Now he could see they had been filled with desperation on both their parts. Christine to save her lover Raoul, Erik to have a woman give him his first tender exchange of a kiss between a man and a woman.

 

Erik still felt that he had loved Christine but it was to a different degree than what he felt for Meg. Back when Erik had been feverishly plotting and planning to win Christine, Erik had thought there could be only one love in a lifetime. For many years he had accepted that for him there would be no such great love. Christine’s entrance into his life had changed all that. He should at least be grateful to her for that gift.

 

When sleep overtook Erik his dreams were filled with a woman radiating light all around her. He felt for the first time in his life safe, secure, loved and happy. He smiled as his dream revealed his hearts desire.

 

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