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Chapter Two

Voyage of Discovery

The lone figure stood at the rail of the ship. He was deep in thought. He had much to keep his mind occupied.  He was a tall lonely figure. Standing about six feet two with broad shoulders one would think him a fine figure of a man. In the dark he looked rather menacing. The mask he wore made him look even more frightening. He dared not show his face without it. He knew what people thought of him and so he hid behind the mask. 

The mask was a barrier between him and the world that had shown him no compassion. He had no wish to endure any more rejection from anyone. He had suffered all his life because of a face that God had made so horrible that his own mother had turned from him and in the end, his beloved Christine had turned from him also. 

If he was never to find a woman to share his life with at least he might find friendship among the crew he would work beside for the next few months. They were not as particular as most about how one looked. 

The gentle rocking of the ship was soothing to Erik. This was his first night aboard. The quiet of the night allowed his mind to go back over the past six months. He remembered all that had happened to him that last night he was in his home, The Paris Opera House. He could remember Christine and not feel the killing pain he felt before.

Did he still agonize over his loss?  Of course he did.  He had just learned to put her memories in the deepest part of him where he only allowed himself to bring them out in his lonely hours at night. He allowed himself his dreams. Without dreams a person had no hope for the future. Dreams for the betterment of a person’s status in life pushed a person to strive and achieve something slightly more than what one had in the beginning.  

If it had not been for Meg, he might have died that night. More than likely he would have been found and killed by the mob hunting him down. If not by them he could not help but think perhaps as time passed he would have found the courage to end it all. Erik could now be truly thankful to her. Before, he had cursed her for saving him.  She had come after him and given him his mask. Erik knew that it was not healthy to let such a small scrap of leather define who he was but for so long that was his only barrier from those who mocked him or threatened him. Father Joshua had finally allowed him this one concession before he left the safety of the monastery's walls.

Meg had gone with him to the monastery. Antoinette would have taken him but at the time she was under suspicion as everyone knew of her connection to the Opera Ghost. Meg had asked them to give him sanctuary and they had.  Her last words to him were much as Christine had said to him. He needed to look into his soul and heal himself. He realized that much of his torment was because he had hidden himself away from the world. No one could see the man behind his disfigured face because he never allowed himself to be seen as anything other than a ghost or phantom. Now would be the time to show himself as a man.

The abuse and ridicule he had suffered as a child had made it easier to hide away than face yet another rejection.                      

Erik had not been willing to leave everything that he had come to know as his home. Only for Christine would he have left the safety of his underground home. The home that he now knew was more prison than a sanctuary from the entire world that had treated him so cruelly. Cruelty that had started with the mother who was supposed to love and protect him and continued for many years until the inevitable end had come with the destruction of his whole world.    

As a small child he had been put on display for the people to laugh at, call him horrible names and some had even spit upon him.  He was beaten nightly. He had learned that he had to endure pain and never expect love or even kindness. That is until Madame Giry had taken Erik away from his torment. Erik had thought that he would die in that miserable place. 

Through the years, he had listened to the music and learned how to make a world of his own through the music he heard in his head. Until Christine had come, he had no one with whom he could share the wondrous melodies he heard in his head. 

When Christine had come to him, he had thought that she was an angel sent to him to share his passion for music and save him from the solitude he had lived in for many years.  He could not contain his emotions after he heard her sing.  Everything he felt for Christine he had written in his music. When he first heard her sing, he knew she was the one who would give voice to the songs he would write.

Through the years, he had taught her how to use her voice to make the beautiful sounds that made his heart hers. 

As her voice grew more beautiful so did she.  That he should fall in love with her was inevitable. She gave him a glimpse of what life was like in the world of light. He knew he could not be with her in that world so he had wanted her to share his.

He had asked too much of her.  She had fallen in love with Raoul.  That young whelp had won her heart within a span of a few hours and Erik had been wooing her for years.  The unfairness of it drove Erik mad with jealousy to see them show their love with open demonstrations of affection.

The night she had declared her love for Raoul had been the beginning of Erik's decent into a madness that had caused him to take lives and destroy the place he had called home for most of his life.  He had nearly ended his life that night. His one place in the world that had given him refuge was gone. His one connection to the world he had cherished most, his beloved opera house, gone forever. 

He had felt so lost during all those months of his recovery.  There was no place for him in this cruel world.  His one chance to have someone share his life had been taken away. 

The priests at the monastery had helped him to heal his body and his soul, especially Father Joshua.  The first weeks he had barely eaten or talked to anyone.  Gradually Father Joshua had made him see that he could not change what he had done but he could try to live his life so that he made the world better for having him in it.  Father Joshua had told him many times that sometimes it is the smallest thing that has the greatest effect on the world and the people in it.

He had told Erik that someday his music would return to him and he could share his gift with the world.  The world needed the beauty of his songs and the music he wrote.

Father Joshua was the first person since he was a child who had called him by his given name, Erik. Together he and the good father had come up with a proper surname. Since Erik felt such gratitude toward his friend Erik had asked to use the priests surname as his own. Erik with no surname became Erik Fournier.  

Erik had spent many hours working in the gardens of the monastery.  The sun had felt wonderful on his face. He had truly begun to enjoy his stay within those holy walls. He had not wanted to go but Father Joshua had told him now would be a good time to start fresh somewhere out in the real world, a prospect which had intrigued as well as frightened Erik.

Erik had slowly healed and began to feel as if he could make a life for himself.  Father Joshua had told him that somewhere in the world there was a place for him. He just needed to find it.  

The priests had heard of the ship that was to leave for England. The captain of the ship was a friend of Father Joshua. 

Captain Sinclair had agreed that Erik could come with them when they set sail.  He would have to work to pay for his passage. That had been agreeable to Erik. What choice did he have as things were here in France? One day he would have to leave the monastery. Sooner or later someone would equate his masked visage with that of the Phantom the authorities had said destroyed the opera house and abducted the diva.

His years of climbing through the opera house had made it easy for him to climb the ropes and mast. Captain Sinclair had been impressed enough to take Erik on as a shipmate.

Father Joshua had told Erik that he had told Captain Sinclair of his past.  Most of the crew were either running from some crime they had committed or from personal demons.  The captain himself had barely escaped the hangman’s noose. 

When he was a young man he had fought with a man over a woman.  He had killed the man. It had been self defense but the powers that be had taken their time to clear him.    

Luckily for him there were many witnesses. The woman he had fought over was to become his wife and the mother of his only child, Samantha.  The Captain had told Erik that his daughter preferred to be called Sam. 

Erik hadn’t seen Sam as of yet. He had been told that she helped in the galley and cleaning below deck.  She could even tend to the injured when the need arose. 

He prayed that he would find what he needed here aboard this ship. He needed this chance to feel a part of the world.  He would  not let himself become a ghost again but neither did he wish to remain alone.

When he boarded he had seen many of the crew.  Many had scars, some almost as bad as his own. It had been a boon to Erik to note that the men had not bated an eye to see him wearing the mask. Not one word of ridicule or fright had passed their lips.

With one last look at the night sky Marcus made his way below deck and to the bunk that was to be his until they reached England.  Captain Sinclair had told him that he could decide if he wanted to stay with them before they left England for America.  Erik thought he knew what his decision would be, but he had yet to meet the next woman that would cause great changes and upheaval in his life.

Erik took one last deep breath of fresh  air and decided  he should go below and try to sleep.  Tomorrow he would start his new life among the people who lived and worked in the light of day.  For now it would be his world also.  

Erik knew his life had changed, but, he did not know that his life was set on a course that could bring him his greatest joy or his deepest sorrow.  How he dealt with the events ahead would decide his fate.

He made his way below deck and found the bunk that was to be his.  The other men were already asleep.  He quietly removed his clothes and slid beneath the covers.  He had decided it would be better if he left his mask on. No sense exposing others to a sight he couldn’t stand himself. 

In his sleep that night he dreamed the dreams he always did.  They were always about Christine  and the life he had thought to share with her.  In his dreams he could have what he could not have in reality.  In his dreams he was a man as other men were .  No need for the mask.  In his dreams his face was perfect.  In his dreams Christine loved him.

He woke in the middle of the night as he often did and prayed for morning.  He wanted to start his new life.  It wouldn’t be the start of the new life with Christine , but a life that was better than he had ever had before.

He drifted into sleep again and this time his sleep was uninterrupted by dreams.  At least not any that he could remember when he awoke the next morning.

If he was to have any sort of life he would have to give up his dream of having Christine. That dream was over. He had to learn the hard lesson again that he was born into this world to be alone. 

His face insured that he would always be alone. Humans were not meant to live alone. They needed love and companionship.  He had to find a place in the world where he could live among others and regain the humanity he had lost when he had given into sin and bargained his soul to the Devil.  He hoped that his time here in this place of healing would ease the guilt he felt and give him back a small piece of his soul.

It was hard giving up on a dream, especially when you had so little.  Sometimes he felt that his dreams were all he would ever have.

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